Raising two birth children might satisfy the maternal and paternal instincts of many parents. It certainly was not enough for Amanda and James Mason.
Remarkably their decision to go on to adopt a further two children – one with Asperger’s syndrome and another one with cerebral palsy – has not curbed their commitment to parenthood. In fact they would probably consider adding a fifth child to their family.
Amanda and James from South Manchester explain, “I guess our parental instincts are overwhelming, and we have refused to make any distinction between our birth children and their adopted brothers. We are one big family and we work together to make things work.”
James and Amanda do not accept that their choice to adopt children with particular disabilities has created any special challenges. Amanda continues, “ I’ve got a family of four now and it just so happens that two of them are home grown. We are a normal family and we do normal things.”
The Masons explained that the decision to adopt was a greater emotional journey than living every day as it comes. “We had been talking and thinking about it for a while, and the more you talk about it the more it becomes a reality!” Their birth children Charlie and Emma have given their parents every encouragement. “They have been fantastic and very supportive,” says James. “If they had expressed any doubts or concerns, we would not have done it.”
Amanda describes their initial thoughts, “After talking with a representative of Adoption Matters Northwest we opened ourselves up to the idea of adopting a child with a disability. After learning about the length of time some children with disabilities remain in the care system, we realised that it would be a positive choice to offer our experience and qualities and the chance for a child to have a secure and loving future.”
Thankfully Amanda and James were successfully approved to adopt and as they were actively seeking to adopt a child with disabilities they were quite quickly matched with a child. Within six weeks of meeting Daniel he was settled into their home, he had been in a foster placement since he was 2 years old and now at four he was part of their family. “Though it was a nerve racking time”, said James “we had become parents all over again. Daniel is now 12, very cheeky and a real star.”
Once everyone had adjusted and settled down the Masons quickly realised adoption had been a wonderful choice and with just over a four-year gap they set out on the same path again. David joined the family as the Masons’ second adoption. Now aged seven, David who has cerebral palsy is a very happy and settled young boy and his condition is becoming more manageable as he grows.
Understanding and researching the conditions helped Amanda and James with both of their adopted boys. Despite the inevitable additional demands of caring for children with these conditions, Amanda insists that her family is just like any other. “David does struggle with his mobility and some simple tasks are very difficult for him but we have strategies and solutions and we stick to our routines”. James continues, “Raising our adopted boys has been a slightly different learning curve than raising our birth children but we are a little older now and have all those previous experiences to draw upon; we are probably better equipped to deal with any obstacles than ever”.
When asked for any words of advice for anyone considering adopting a child with any kind of special needs, Amanda and James agreed, “We have a wonderful family life, in fact maybe better than most because we accept our children for what they are. They are all individuals and our expectations of them are simply that they do their best. We wake up every morning to smiling faces and to kids who tell us they love us. That is our definition of bliss. Our children are just amazing and we would not be without them.”
